There’s something to be said about the past, the future and the present. In all instances, something to remember, and something to let go of. This is the realisation I came to recently…
To say that I have made my fair share of mistakes in the past might be an understatement. Would I change anything in my past? Wouldn’t we all, but, would I be the same person today if I could change my past? Probably not…
And therein lies the good and the bad: We must learn the life lessons from our past experiences, but let go of the things that hurt us, the people that did us wrong, and the wrong decisions we made. A lot of it boils down to forgiveness – forgiveness of the self and others.
Hold on to the experiences, the things you learnt, and the memories you made. Let go of anything that doesn’t add value to your life today.
When considering the future, it is important to have something to work towards – a goal, a dream, something that you’ve always wanted to achieve. On the contrary, one shouldn’t be too obsessed about the future either, as it can easily become something you so badly want, that you actually lose focus of how to achieve it. Sounds contradictory, but from recent personal experience, I can honestly say that it is true. There’s a difference between having future goals, and being so obsessed about it that you forget living, which brings me to the present…
You see, the present is the only thing that is “real”. The “now” is the only form of reality where our decisions and actions have an immediate impact, and can be felt, tasted, heard or seen. We tend to either get SO stuck in the past, or dream of the future, that we forget to live in the moment, and thereby forget to truly live! It’s a human thing, we all do it, at least from time to time.
Allow me to put it into a personal perspective:
For years I have been carrying past hurts with me, from as far back as my childhood and school days, to even more recent, in failed relationships, school teachers, friends, colleagues, bosses, people I randomly met, and even as far as decisions I made myself. Some of these past experiences were great, and others not so. I kept catching myself thinking about things that happened in the past, and wondering how life would be different if some of them didn’t happen, or happened differently.
I have also been obsessed about the future, especially in terms of romantic relationships, wondering if and when i will ever end up with someone special. I have been so focused and obsessed about this, that I forgot to be myself in the here and now, which actually prevented me from meeting new people altogether. See how this is counterproductive in actually achieving your future goals?
Does that mean I no longer dream or have goals for the future? ABSOLUTELY not! My dream is still to work for Disney, and it will come, however, I have to prepare and live now, to make sure that when that time comes (and it can at any time now), I am as ready to make a huge success of it as I can be. Thinking about it now, a few months back, I was not as prepared and ready for this adventure as I am now, and there are still tings I can improve on (i.e. finances, obligations in my home country, etc.).
So I am making a conscious decision to live each day in the present, in the here and now and in reality, by using the lessons I have learned from the past, and with my future goals and dreams in mind. Actually, REALLY, LIVING for a change!